


Making a Connection

by HeartfeltPastels



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship (for Side-couples), F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, Platonic Female/Female Relationships, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Loathing, Trans Female Character, comphet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23291596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartfeltPastels/pseuds/HeartfeltPastels
Summary: "She was always a cheerful happy girl in my head, but I…"
Relationships: Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Societte/Yuel (Granblue Fantasy) (side-couple), Vikala & Kumbhira (Granblue Fantasy)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 10





	1. Beyond Solitude's End

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I’ve ever published, so I hope you give it a chance... Maybe it can mean something to you or you can enjoy it at least. And apologies for any grammar, typo, or other mistakes I missed. 
> 
> I tried to tag all of the warnings I felt were relevant to the fic, so see the tags for content warnings.
> 
> Please love Vikala and Kumbhira ^^.

One day, while still adjusting to her new life with the crew on the Grancypher, Vikala was retiring to her room after finishing her chores when she overheard something.

The captain and some others she wasn’t familiar with talking about Kumbhira’s struggles. Vikala considers listening in further or joining, but considers how she’d rather hear it from Kumbhira herself first. And she isn’t in the mood to risk having to get to know new people anyways. 

Thinking about Kumbhira, she realizes she hadn’t really reached out much to her yet nor had Kumbhira reached out to her. She wonders if maybe that was her way of wanting to be thoughtful of Vikala’s boundaries. 

“I wonder what she meant by _similar_ when we talked together before…” Vikala thought “I wanted to talk with her again like that.. But maybe she doesn’t want to talk to me again or she… no... Kumbhira is really kind, I have to try”. 

Even then she still found it too hard for her insecure self to be that direct to approach her. 

Much less ask to talk to her despite her feeling a bit braver than before, even Vicky isn’t exactly used to having friends or people to trust in yet either.

Vikala knows she wants to try to change even a little, though. She decides she really wants to try to trust and learn more about Kumbhira. She wrote her first friend a short letter inviting her to her room to talk on their next free day. When she knew Kumbhira was on duty, she went and left the letter in her friend’s room. She felt relief that she didn’t encounter anyone too prying, like Vyrn.

The day Vikala is eagerly looking forward to arrives quickly. She found herself eagerly anticipating Kumbhira’s arrival more and more as time drew closer. So she ended up trying her best to prepare some snacks and tea for her guest since she hopes to talk for a while. “It’s nothing fancy, but I am happy with it. I hope Kumbhira likes it though… now I just needed to put on my rat-ear headband, since I wanted to let Vicky talk with her first this time.” 

She puts on her prized headband, closes her eyes, and softly murmurs something no one but her can hear. A warm light envelops her and changes her clothes and hair to a much more elegant and bright look in a brief moment. As it fades she lovingly inspects her favorite outfit to make sure everything looks in order as she often enjoys doing when time permits. The cute ribbon, the frilly skirt and cloth, and cute intricate patterns on various parts. She loved every bit of it, and admiring it always put her in a good mood, made her feel more girly, and at peace with herself than normal for some reason. 

Soon after transforming, she hears a knock at her door. “Hello? Vikala? Is now a good time?” a voice asks, a bit earlier than she expects, but she feels happy that her guest came so quickly. 

“Kumbhira, it’s Vicky here, but you can come in now.” she responds as she opens the door “Welcome! It’s been a little bit longer than I would have liked, but I am really excited to spend time with you again like this! You can go ahead and sit down. I’ll get the door”. 

“Ah, Hello Vicky, and it’s fine I thought I should give you some space to adjust to your new life on the crew. Though I did miss you a bit. Have you been adjusting alright?” asks Kumbhira as she observes her friend’s relatively simple but cute room, with a pastel blue bed sheet and 2 colorful cushions around the table.

As Vikala shuts the door “Well since the Rackam(?) incident it’s been going decently at least, though I still haven’t made many friends yet.” 

“That’s good to hear, just take it at your own pace. It took me a while to start making friends here too you know?” 

“It did? I thought with how you are around the divine generals, it would have been easy for you to make friends with almost anyone from the start.” Vikala tries to not let her surprise show too much at this reveal. 

“Well outside of them, I didn’t really have that much experience with friends either. I never made many since I mostly stuck with my siblings, my predecessor, and the head priestess. Since I spent so much of my time training. That reminds Vicky did you tell anyone you were leaving when you joined the crew?” 

The rat eared girl squeaks a quick and simple “I see and No.” 

That response surprises Kumbhira and worries her a little bit, but she pushes forward “Why not Vicky?”

Even with her headband on the girl couldn’t help the pain showing on her expression “Because the head priest isn’t expecting Vicky back for a while anyways. And it’s not like anyone there _really_ cared about **me**.”

Kumbhira quickly realizes her mistake “Ah sorry for asking such an insensitive question Vicky. I should have known you had your reasons.” hoping to make things less awkward “You said in your letter you had something you wanted to ask me about and something you wanted to tell me about. How about we get to one of those?”

Wanting to move on from the previous topic as well, Vicky tries her best to be upbeat “Well the other day I happened to overhear a little bit from the captain and some others talking about you and some struggle you had with your predecessor when you first joined. I wanted to join in the conversation, but I thought about how I’d rather hear it from you! To find out more about how we were similar. After all, I am really curious about that! And I wanted to try to learn more about you! and m-maybe trust you a bit more. But even with my ears, I am a bit afraid to... I’ve struggled with really trusting people in general for a long time. Dorrie, my partner, is the only one I’ve really trusted for a while.“

“It sounds like you’ve had a bit harder life than I thought, so I’ll try to be more thoughtful when it comes to your past now. But I am really happy to hear that you want to trust me more. I’ll try my best to be a friend worthy of that trust you want to place in me Vicky. And it’s ok if you struggle with it or need to take it slow.” 

“Thank you, Kumbhira. I’m sure you’ll be a friend worthy of it! So could I hear some about your past now?”

“Sure you see before I joined the crew my sense of self-worth was always a bit low because I never thought I was good compared to my predecessor. I always felt so weak and inferior compared to her.”

Vikala feels taken aback. “But how is that possible you seem plenty strong to me? Even when I ended up going all out against you in our training never seemed weak to me?” 

“Thanks. But it’s because unlike me she had the blessing of divine strength that every other divine boar had received except _me._ And she had an incredibly strong resolve that I’ve only seen matched by our captain’s. Her average day far outshone even my personal bests. So I never felt like I was anywhere near a match for her or worthy of being her successor back then. It was only after I joined the crew and spending time with everyone here, especially our captain and the other divine generals did I really start to see my own worth, find my resolve, and that maybe I deserve to be happy too. But like I said earlier, it was a bit hard for me to adjust.” Kumbhira catches herself “Sorry, I went on for a bit long there.”

Vikala didn’t seem to mind. She listens intently to everything her friend says to her. She clearly is moved a bit to be able to understand her a bit better now. “Thank you so much for sharing that with me! I think I can start to understand us being similar a bit more now. Though maybe even more than you realize as we were also both born lacking things that made us feel inferior to our peers. Still, I think it’s really impressive how strong you’ve become without such a thing on your own, Kumbhira.”

“Thanks. And I am glad it could help you. I am looking forward to learning more about you too.”

“Before that though, while it was a bit shorter than I would have liked. It’s time for I, Vicky, to say goodbye for now.” 

“Eh what do you mean? And I had to say one more thing to you Vicky first…” 

“Alright I’ll wait just a little bit longer for you.” 

“Vicky you should try to show some of that overflowing kindness you show towards everyone else towards yourself towards Vikala, ok?” 

“S-stop it you’re really blueing me out when you say things like that… I don’t de…” Vikala stops herself and pauses for a moment before speaking again “What do you mean I, Vicky, show everyone the same kindness and love towards all!”

“Ahaha sorry I guess you weren’t ready for that yet, I’m sure you do.”

“Anyways just grab a snack and Turn around for a few moments, as it’s not my place to speak on our next topic.” 

Kumbhira turns around and grabs one of the cookies from the table to eat while she waits. She hears something spoken softly but it is too quiet for her to make out and then sees a faint light come and go. “Can I turn around now?”

“Ah ju-just one more moment.” spoke a much more shy voice as she took off her rat-eared headband and set it gently on her bed with the utmost care. “You c-can turn around now Kumbhira.” 

“Oh Vikala hello, wait you can just change like that?!?”

Vikala nods “As long as I have my rat-eared headband I can… though i-i-I have never done it with someone so close to me before s-so I’m still f-feeling just a bit n-n-e-ervious and embarrassed about it. So, um, uh… can we have some tea and s-snacks while I c-c-alm down for a moment because it’s r-really bluing me out right now.” 

“Of course I’d be happy to wait a bit if it makes things a little easier for you.”  
  
Vikala feels relief as her friend accepts and they both have some of the tea and snacks she had prepared earlier. 

After they ate a few of the snacks, Kumbhira asks “Did you make these yourself?” Vikala nods to answer. “You must be pretty good at cooking then these are great.”

“Oh uh it’s nothing.. It’s just some things my old manager taught me how to make and they were never as good as the ones he made, so that’s why I always was put on dish duty.”

“Even if you think it’s nothing, still, thank you for going through the effort to prepare something like this for us. I really enjoyed them.”

Vikala feels a bit flustered by the unexpected praise “Um you’re welcome and t-t-thank you for the compliment.” 

As they finished with the snacks and tea Vikala looking just a bit more calm spoke once again “I wanted to talk about something but…” she struggled a bit to get the words out “C-c-can you promise you won’t j-j-udge or hate me or anything over it? P-please Kumbhira”

Kumbhira holds one of Vikala’s hands to reassure her “I don’t know why you’re so afraid, but you have my word. You’re an important friend to me, so don’t worry. That won’t happen no matter what.” 

Her words and actions fluster Vikala even more than before. She wonders how long it had been since she had last been allowed to enjoy the comfort and warmth of another girl’s touch… she didn’t remember liking it so much before. 

Sure she had shaken hands with many people as part of her role in the festival, but delicately holding someone’s soft and warm hands is really different and a bit overwhelming for her. “Uh uh um c-could you please w-w-warn me next time before you take my hand or t-t-touch me?”

“Oh sorry” as she let go of her hand. 

“... aahh uh...I didn’t s-say you had to l-let go”.

Kumbhira holds her hand once more. 

“A-anyways recently Our captain, Lyria, and Vyrn had told me that I should s-s-stop calling myself a f-f-fake even if I depend on my ears sometimes…, but I just can n-n-ot stop fully…”

“I don’t think you’re a fake either with or without your ears, but why do you think you’re still fake then?”  
  
Vikala grips Kumbhira’s hand much harder before she speaks trying to not let her emotions overwhelm her too much. “Because none of you know how much of a fake I really am… even my own parents told me that I’d always be a fake no matter what I did and that nothing could ever change that… When I last talked to them a few years ago after I just met Dorrie…” the girl now in tears as she tries to finish her thoughts. “Ever since I became a divine general... I’ve always been living alone with Dorrie because I always thought no one would want a fake like me around…” 

“Is it alright if I hug you?”

She nods as Kumbhira embraces her closely, and thinks carefully on how to respond to her after seeing this pain surface. “That’s probably been bothering you for a long time hasn’t it?...”

Vikala nods again.

“I am really sorry I had no idea you’d been through something so awful as that… It must have been hard on you without anyone to support you, but I can promise you have my support now. No matter why they called you that Vikala I know that it wasn’t your fault.”

“How can you be so s-sure of that though?... Besides, it wasn’t that bad besides… it was my fault for being like this for being a fake…, not b--” 

Kumbhira interrupts her “It’s definitely not your fault at all. It’s your parent’s fault. You don’t have to keep blaming yourself for their cruelty. It’s ok to admit what they did to you hurt deeply. It’s the parents’ job to love and accept their child no matter what and yours clearly failed at that to do that for you.” 

“Thank you…” 

Kumbhira letting go of her finally besides her hand “Vikala can you explain to me why this happened though? I get the feeling it’s not because of ‘Vicky’ or your ears. But no matter what, I won’t think you’re a fake.”

Vikala nods timidly “Thank you. Can you just give me just a moment?” 

“Of course take your time.”  
  
Vikala’s nerves once again showed how tightly she grips Kumbhira’s hand. Maybe even tighter than before. “Well uh um… it’s cause ‘Vicky’... she’s _always_ been a g-girl in my mind and in my dreams, but I _wasn’t_ … I was just a _fake_... My parents always said I would never be one and to just give up on it if I ever dared mention it and that I’d only be a fake if I tried…”

“When I met Dorrie as a result of some of the blessings I received from our pact to form my divine general abilities... I was able to change just a little and become more like I wanted to be. I thought just maybe things would change for me or for how my parents treated me… but when I showed my parents my new appearance… aside from calling me a fake… it was terrible. I don’t want to remember that day… It made me never want to see them again… I only used their names for me to hide that I was Vicky from others... but I came to despise them and _that_ name since then… but that means Vikala is my fake name...”

As she finished her thoughts, Vikala notices now that Kumbhira is the one crying now as she hugs her tighter than before “K-Kumbhira I can’t breathe if you squeeze that hard.”

“Oh sorry… It’s just that I am so sorry your parents did something that cruel and painful to you… That’s worse than I was expecting… you aren’t fake at all, you’re a girl just as much as me and Vikala is your real name, I promise you. You’re not even the only girl in the crew like this I’ve met.”

Somewhere between Kumbhira’s kind words and the past pain she’d been trying to let go of… Vikala found herself crying uncontrollably.

“It’s ok you can let it all, I am sure it’s been really hard on you.” As she tries to comfort the younger girl.

Eventually, after being held by Kumbhira for a while, Vikala starts to regain her composure a bit, and sheepishly asks “Kumbhira did you really mean that you still think of me as a girl and as Vikala? Despite me telling you about my secret I’d never told anyone before?...” 

“Of course. I really mean it. You’re just as much of a girl as I am, and you are Vikala to me no matter what anyone else says.” 

Vikala’s face lit up far more than usual for her Yin side. “When you say it like that, it makes me feel like I am walking on the sunny side even when I am like this.” as she cries tears of joy at being fully accepted for the first time. 

“Ah you don’t need to cry again.” 

“I c-can’t help it. I feel so happy and warm I am not used to it…” 

Kumbhira pats her on the head “Well it’s ok then. And _I’m_ really happy to see you smile like that. It looks so sincere. Though I wouldn’t have guessed that was the case for you if you hadn’t told me, because you seemed so girly to me in every way. Did all your clothes come from Dorrie too?”

Kumbhira notices Vikala is clearly struggling to deal with the compliments on top of the other emotions, realizing that she spoke again “Oh sorry I probably should have given you a moment before saying more, I just got too curious and excited I didn’t mean to overwhelm you more. Please take your time Vikala.” As she ate another snack before accidentally repeating herself.

“... Uh Sorry just that much praise then on top of the other stuff, just blued me out a little bit.”

“Don’t worry, it's fine, it was my fault anyways.”

“But uh t-thank you for your kind words Kumbhira I really appreciate them. And um… to answer your question well it’s a bit embarrassing to admit this to someone… But Vicky’s clothes or r-r-rather my divine general clothes were formed an ideal in m-m-yy my heart about what I felt a divine general should be like given form by Dorrie’s blessing, so that one comes from both of us I guess.” 

Kumbhira tries her best to resist grinning at how adorable Vikala was when she talks like this, but fails.

“W-what’s with that expression?...” 

“I couldn’t help, but think how you looked even more adorable than any of my younger siblings just now.” 

“ . . . “

“Ah I didn’t mean to tease you, sorry, I thought it was really sweet how that Dorrie was able to do that for you to bring you that happiness.” 

“ . . . you do have a point. Maybe I should be more grateful to her. But t-there is n-no way I am that cute...” 

“Did you ever think that maybe Dorrie chose you for the role because she could sense you were the one who needed her as much as she needed you?” 

“I n-never thought about it that way… maybe I should ask her? Cause I might owe more than I thought...”

Kumbhira nods “You should definitely ask her later about it. Though what about the clothes you wear now though?” 

“Oh? These? They were the first thing I saved up for and ever bought for myself after I met Dorrie, so I’ve always... t-treasured them a lot.” 

“You were able to pick out something so cute for yourself then despite not having experience with it? I’m impressed. I’d never shopped for clothes for myself until pretty recently, and even then I ended up needing some help even after reading up on some fashion stuff beforehand… ahaha. How did you manage?”

“Uh… I’d often read about fashion when I had the chance to when I was younger because it was the only way I could safely admire the clothes I dreamt of. So when I could finally get some myself I had plenty of ideas I just had to find something I could afford.” 

“Huh, Maybe I should take you shopping sometime, my treat. I'd love to see a bit of your understanding of it in action. If you’d be interested in that.”

“Uh… it sounds nice… but let me have some time to think about it please?”

“Of course.”

“Also uh e-earlier d-did you happen to say something before having met another girl in the crew like me? What did you mean… I thought I was the only one like this?” Vikala asks with a very curious expression on her face.

Kumbhira realizes what she said without thinking when she was trying to comfort Vikala in the heat of the moment, but didn’t want to just out any of her crew mates. Her mind drifts to one of the more open ones.

“Well there’s Ca-”. 

She stops herself as she realizes Vikala absolutely is **not** ready to meet _her_ of all people yet… 

“Ca?”

“Err Uh Ca-cause this crew is full of more diverse people than most islands are, ahaha...”

Vikala’s curiosity, clearly unsatisfied with that answer, asks further “Could you let me meet any of them? Please… it w-would mean a lot to me as uh I never even imagined anyone else like me existed before…”  
  
Kumbhira’s mind is panicking at that line. She couldn’t just say no to Vikala with that face. She knew _she_ is out, while Ladiva would definitely not be what Vikala is expecting or needed right now… She isn’t about to out someone whom Vikala hasn’t even met yet… but she really didn’t want to let Vikala down after saying that. Her thoughts raced to herself to seek any other option but couldn’t find anything and gave up before thinking to herself. 

(Sorry Captain… I just can’t say no to her when she’s like this and I feel like there is no other choice please forgive me.. I hope you don’t get too upset at me.)

“Perhaps there is another girl on crew who’s like you and also had some trouble with her parents.”

“Who?”

“It’s someone you already know and are somewhat close to.”

Vikala looks especially confused by this comment “Is Lyria? Or is it you K-Kumbhira?!?”

“No, No.”

“You can’t p-possible mean her, Djeeta, our captain, can you?!?!?” 

Kumbhira nods meekly this time. “But you have to promise me since I told you that’ll you’ll come out to her in writing before you try to talk to her about it, alright? She prefers it to be kept a secret, but I’m letting you know because of your circumstances as an exception...”

The confirmation shocks Vikala “There is n-no way… how could someone so confident and stylish like her possibly be like me?.. I can’t believe it… t-this is just a scheme to g-get me to r-r-reveal myself to her and make me feel even more blued out, vulnerable, and embarrassed... around her by letting her know... even more of my w-w-weak points isn’t?!?”

Kumbhira sighs for a moment before responding “Look Vikala. I know it’s surprising since she’s well pretty secretive about it, but I promise you I’m being serious here. I don’t have any questionable motivations like that.”

Vikala thinks it over after hearing Kumbhira speak again “Uh... sorry for jumping to strange conclusions like that… it just felt too unbelievable so my mind just… got so blued out... sorry. I’ll, uh, trust you, And I promise to write her something about it before I try to talk to her about it. And thank you for letting me know… it makes me really happy to know that I’m not the only one.” 

Kumbhira pats Vikala on the head again “It’s ok. I can understand why you’d feel that way. I found it pretty surprising too when I found out. I hope something good can come from that for you.” 

“I hope so too.”

“Well that’s decided then, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

Vikala has a much more calm expression than she did moments ago “Uh um… Kumbhira…I just wanted to say. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me so much today. Even after joining the crew, I’d never really experienced anything like today before…” 

“No, I should be thanking you for opening up so much to me today. I know it wasn’t easy for you. I was really happy to see you trying your best to trust me today.”

“But that’s only because you’re the first person who tried to actually get to know me. You showed me so much kindness and warmth even when I’m not Vicky. I’m really grateful for that. So because of that, I was able to try so much today, and uh… I have a request… though it might be a strange one…”

Kumbhira struggles with feeling flustered herself this time after hearing those sweet words “T-that’s only natural… we’re friends and fellow divine generals, after all. Go ahead though. I’ll be the judge of if it’s strange or not.”

“Still thank you anyways … W-w-would it be uhh alright... if I called you ‘Onee-chan’... since you’re the first person who’s been like family to me since then...”

Kumbhira looks even more flustered than before, but absolutely delighted so much so that all three of her brown piglets appeared.

Surprising Vikala now curious about this seemingly random occurrence she asks “Kumbhira what are those? Did you also have a shikigami partner? Was my request really that w-weird?... ” 

“Geeze all 3 of you had to come out… even you Pigchelle…” Kumbhira is beside herself “Uh not quite shikigami partners. Rather... they’re more like my guardians. They’ve been with me since I was born. This is Pigchelle, this is Hamward, and this is Thomboar.” Each of them squeals when she introduces them. “They just kind of have a habit of coming out unintentionally when I get overly excited by something… I thought I was getting better at controlling it though” She sighs.

“So my request was so s-strange it was exciting?”

“No, of course not. It wasn’t strange at all… it was cute even. It just caught me by surprise since I didn’t think someone as reserved as you would ask something like that… Anyway I’d be overjoyed to let someone as important to me as you refer to me that way and I’m happy you think of me as family, I’ll think of you as family too, Vikala.”

Vikala only manages to squeak out “Thank you Onee-chan, and they’re adorable” as she looks at the three piglets. 

Though she still isn’t used to feeling so warm still when she wasn’t wearing her ears it is a nice feeling even if a bit overwhelming for the girl who had found the first person she could really trust and call her new family. She was glad she managed to take this important step toward moving forward even a little at her own pace to move past the solitude she had locked herself into for years.


	2. A Path to Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit shorter since I ended up splitting things up, but I hope you enjoy it regardless. And apologies for any grammar, typo, or other mistakes I missed and for taking a while to update.

A few days later Vikala had finally found the words she wanted to express to her captain. She hopes to deliver this letter to the captain, Djeeta, in person this time. So she wears her prized headband and her divine general outfit. 

Roaming the Grancypher for some time without successfully finding her target, she began to wonder if she picked a bad day for this. She nearly falls into an anxiety spiral before something unexpected catches her eye on the deck of the ship and leaves her with no chance for her mind to cloud. 

Two Erune foxes dance elegantly. One with long silky white hair and blue flames around her, and the other with long beautiful black hair and red flames around her. 

The dance seemingly meant for only each other left Vicky entranced. It felt worlds apart from her performances that were often meant for everyone, but _her_. The pair moved as one as though they perfectly understood one another’s every move, as blue and red flames swirl and mix around them in a perfect graceful harmonious way. Though she feels a little bit envious of them, even she could tell from the beautiful, passionate dance that the two girls share an incredibly deep and special bond with each other.

As the dance finishes one of them speaks, “Well Socie, you feeling better after dancing with me?”

Societte’s tail is wagging happily enough that she didn’t need to answer. “I am still worried some about You, since she’s been acting off lately. But I do feel better Yuel. Dancing with you always puts me in a better mood.”

“Glad to hear it, don’t worry about it too much. She's a good girl, I am sure things will work out sooner or later.”

Societte nods in agreement to that statement.

The conversation finally snaps Vicky out of her trance. Feeling revitalized and overwhelmed with excitement, she can’t help but approach the pair and to join in the conversation.

“Wow! That was truly a splendid performance! Both of you were amazing!” She says with eyes full of wonderment.

“Thank you. I’m Societte and this is Yuel, but who might you be?” Societte responds.  
  
She answers with enough excitement as if wanting to dance herself. “Me? I am Vikala, the ever cheerful divine general of the rat and this year’s spirit! You can call me Vicky! And after seeing you two’s dance and then seeing two worrying over something I felt I had to offer my aid to help with it! If you two will accept it that is. What do you say?!”

Yuel replies “You seem nice enough Vicky, but do you mind giving the two of us a moment to talk it over? I won’t trust _her_ to just anyone.”

“Of course! I have no problem with that.” She cheerfully answers.

The pair wave her goodbye for a moment before heading to the other side of the ship’s deck to put some distance between them.

“So what do you make of her, Socie? I just want to be careful because I know how important You is to us.”

“Well, assuming she is one of the divine generals, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to trust her. All of three of the ones I’ve encountered before had been really caring and friendly people. And I’d actually heard of the name ‘Vikala’ from Kou before. He mentioned her once about how the captain seemed to have nothing but praise and love for the girl, and how she wished she’d join the crew.”

“Hmmm that so? Kou never mentioned that to me though!”

“That’s probably because you tease the poor boy too much for him to want to talk to about things casually like that with you...”

“Tch. Must be nice.” Yuel pouts as her tail hangs low.

Societte lets out a giggle, “It’s your own fault.”

“I know, but… ugh“ Yuel tries to regain her composure. “Do you think she’s really Vikala though? Just to be sure.”  
  
“Now you’re worrying for You’s sake too much, Yuel. With those ears, that style of outfit, and that mouse following her, who else could she be? I don’t see any reason to doubt her words.”

Yuel takes another glance at the divine general. “True enough I suppose. It’s not every day you see someone dressed like her around the crew.”

“So we’ll trust her then?”

Yuel sighs, “I suppose so. Not like any of us or even Djeeta had gotten anywhere in getting You to talk about it. As much as it frustrates me to admit it, maybe she needs some outside of our circle to talk to about it for some reason or another.” 

“You can be really overprotective of her, you know that Yuel.” Societte giggles again.

“Of course I am, she’s part of our family now…” Yuel fidgets nervously for a moment as tail sways, “she’s like our precious younger sister and I just want what’s best for her.”

“Yeah, I feel the same way. But caring for her means realizing we aren’t always the answer to her problems. So let’s hope for the best and not keep Vikala waiting.” 

Yuel nods and starts walking.

The pair returns to Vicky as she calls out to them cheerfully, “So what will it be you two?”

“We’ll accept your help. Right, Yuel?”

“Yeah, as long she doesn’t let anything bad happen to You. She’s like family to us.”

“I wouldn’t dream of letting anything bad happen to someone important to you two! So don’t worry. Is there anything you two can share about what’s wrong?”

Societte looking a little down. “Well, she’s clearly been a bit down and more grumpy than usual for the past few weeks and a little bit more distant. But she only ever responds claiming she’s fine or nothing is wrong. So we were hoping maybe some outside of us could get her to open up. But we don’t have too much else to go besides that. Sorry.”

Vicky seeks to reassure them so she tries her best to remain cheerful. “Don’t worry about it! That’s plenty enough. Thank you for sharing! What’s You like normally? So I know it’s her.”

Yuel laughs a bit at that question, “Don’t worry yourself. You can’t miss her with her giant long ears, fluffy tail, dark green ish hair, and her general adorableness!” Yuel goes on and on like a parent would talking about her favorite child. “She’s normally a sweet, slightly shy girl, though she can be grumpy and reserved at times with a bad habit of grinding her teeth. And I’d say she’s probably around your age.”

Societte interrupts, “I think that’s plenty enough for her to understand, Yuel.” 

“Ahaha sorry. I just couldn’t help myself at that question.”

“That does sound hard to miss, thanks! I’ll see what I can do for her. Also, have either of you seen Djeeta today? I was looking for her before I came upon you two’s dance.”

“The captain? I think she went to the storage room to inspect some things earlier.” Societte answers.

“Thanks! I’ll be off then. I really need to talk with her today. See you two later!” 

The pair parts from Vicky as she goes back inside the ship, looking for Djeeta again. She feels relief that she didn’t end up the victim of Yuel’s teasing with that playful attitude of hers. She tries to keep her nerves and leaves worrying about You for after her talk with Djeeta. 

She wanders further towards the storage room passing by several rooms and hallways. Before she reaches her destination a familiar voice calls out to her direction. “Oh. Is that Vicky, I see Djeeta?”

“I think it is her, Lyria. It’s rare to see her roaming about on her off day though. I wonder what’s going on?”

“Let’s ask her then.” Vyrn suggests.

The trio calls out to Vikala as they approach her, “Vicky! What are you doing here?”

“Hi! How perfect just who I was looking for!” Vikala says with a cheerful smile, grateful to have found them finally.

Djeeta replies, “Oh, did you need something from us?”

“Not quite~. It’s more like I have something for you specifically, Djeeta! So could I have just a moment with just you?”

“Sure.” Djeeta looks at Lyria & Vyrn, “You two can head to the kitchen. I'll join you shortly.” She replies as her 2 companions depart.

“So what is it Vicky? Did you get me a present or something?”

“No, but yes! Ta-da!” as she reveals the letter with a small bag of cookies.

“Hmm? What’s the occasion of this? I don’t think it’s my birthday and white day just passed not long ago.” 

“Hehe! It's secret ‘til you read the letter!”

“Then can I have it now?”  
  
“Ah.Not yet. First I need to say one more thing! This letter is from me without her headband. She put a lot of her heart and feelings into it, and requested that you read it alone first, ok?”

Djeeta nods and reaches out to receive the items, “I understand. I’ll respect her feelings and keep it secret. So don’t worry ok?” 

Vikala hands her the letter and cookies, “Thank you, Djeeta! And with that, bye!” 

Vikala takes her leave and heads back to her room. “I am glad I found her… I think I would have lost my nerves and confidence if I had taken much longer to find her.” 

Laying in her bed, Vikala finds herself worrying about things like how it would go. If Djeeta would be upset at her, or if she had something really bad with accidently pushing Kumbhira to reveal the secret. She feels her anxiety starting to spike now that she knows Djeeta could be reading the letter anytime.

She recalls Kumbhira’s words.

“Vicky, you should try to show some of that overflowing kindness you show towards everyone else towards yourself towards Vikala, ok?”

She puts her headband on, but doesn’t transform. She speaks as if asking her other self “Vicky, do you think Djeeta will hate me? Did I do something bad? Or will I be made to q---”  
  
“Do you really think that girl, the one who tries so hard for everyone’s sake, she who invited you after seeing your vulnerable side, would hold it against you? When she almost certainly knows just as well as you do how it feels to think you’re the only one like that in the world and how difficult that can be.”

“. . . thanks.” Feeling a little more calm she takes off the headband and sets it on her nightstand before trying to sleep.

But with one worry off her mind, another arises... She wonders if she’ll be able to help the pair of fox erunes and maybe even become friends with that girl. She really hopes she didn’t end up over promising to them or wasn’t overly intrusive to offer her help. Part of her still can’t believe them and her agreed. She rolls around in bed some thinking of how overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude she was after watching the dance. And how it made her desperately want to do something, _anything_ to help them after seeing the concern on their faces.

Though the worry about what she had gotten herself into remains… she found herself less anxious gradually and more happy. For the first time in her life, she just maybe could become friends with a girl close to her age.

Sure the Zodiacs have some girls around her age. But most of them tended to be the most overly excitable to a point that it always put her on edge a bit and made her anxious even with her ears… The ones she got along with were always the ones who were older than her.

While this “You” girl is different. She’s not only around her age, she’s also the shy type like her... Vikala wishes she could be friends with You, or maybe even… but she falls asleep before she can finish her thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it and like where I am going with this. Also a few things due to the split most of chapter 3 has a good bit written and just in need of revisions, so hopefully I’ll be faster to update next time than I was this time. And currently I’ve mostly finished planning somewhat for what I want to write, so the fic is tentatively planned to be around 5 to 7 chapters long.


	3. Shadow of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up a bit heavier than I imagined originally, so I probably should put some extra content warnings here for this chapter specifically: Self-loathing, Implied Comphet, and no suicide ideation but some thoughts in that direction.

You found herself facing a figure she thought she’d never see again. “ _You._ What are you doing here?!”

The silhouette of the girl spoke. “You should know exactly why, with that intense growing insecurity, guilt, and fear in your heart with each passing day, did you think I wouldn’t return eventually? When you can’t even say a word about it to those you care about.”

“Shut up, I am sure things will be fine, despite those things.” You grinds her teeth harshly.

“Do you really think anyone else will love you or even care about you, if you can’t even love your savior after all he did for you? Who else would possibly be able to look past your sins enough to love you?” 

“I don’t believe it, people aren’t like that....” She simply says. 

“Oh really? Do you really think he just did it out of the goodness of his heart and wasn’t expecting something more for saving you? Why do you think all those other people thought you were a couple?”

“Kou’s not like that! I am sure he never expected that in return. Those people are wrong…”

“Even so he’d probably still want it and be disappointed if you told him you weren’t interested in him? Didn’t he seem to enjoy it when people said things like that? Just like in those stories you’ve read you have to love him to find lasting happiness.”

“… I already tried to force myself, I know it won’t work… if I tried to force it anymore I feel like I’ll break and ruin everything.”

“You’ll ruin everything regardless just like always! Besides how can anyone else possibly love someone who can’t even love their savior, and refuses to see them as anything but mere family. Do you really want to be alone and unloved? No, I can sense how much you long for something like what Yuel and Socie have. Even though you’re unworthy of that level of happiness. Accept your place and the misery that comes with it!”

You trembles as her ears and tail lay lifeless. “… I… I don’t know… maybe someone could…” But the words overwhelm her as the fear of isolation in her heart leaves her speechless. 

“That's it, if you can’t love him surely, your precious bonds will fall apart and you’ll be left all alone with me once more. It’s your only choice to avoid that fate.” 

You spoke through tears. “That can’t be true... I believe they’d stay by my side, even if I don’t love him.”

“Really? Let's see about that.”

Shadows of Kou, Yuel, Societte, Lyria, and Djeeta appear.

“You, you don’t love me? After all I’ve done for you? I am very disappointed in you. That’s unforgivable.” - Kou

“How disrespectful. I thought you’d know to be more grateful to Kou.” - Societte

“Pathetic. I thought you were a better kid than being a loser like this. I guess I was wrong.” - Yuel

“How could you dare not love the person who put so much effort into saving you, disgusting.” - Lyria 

“Worthless, unbelievable, someone like you has no place in my crew, this isn’t your home anymore.” - Djeeta

“Get out, just disappear.” All of them chant and repeat.. You suddenly wakes up covered in sweat. “Another nightmare again… that was the worst though…” She grinds her teeth.

“Kou, Socie, Yuel, Djeeta, Lyria…. What am I supposed to do? What’s wrong with me?...” She speaks weakly hugging her pillow with tears pouring down her face.

* * *

Vikala finds herself rudely awakened by some ruckus going on the Grandcypher so early in the morning. Still lying in bed, she tries to ignore it for a little while until she hears frantic yelling. “You is missing!”. 

Her heart sinks. She feels herself shake anxiously, but she can’t--no--she doesn’t want to ignore this.

It took her some time to prepare herself, but Vikala came out of her room transformed, ears and all. Searching for where the voice came from. She heads to the deck, finding the voice. She spots a concerned Djeeta uncharacteristically trembling with a frightened look on her face.

“Hi Djeeta, did something happen? You look really down.” Even Vicky has trouble being fully upbeat with this atmosphere.

“Yeah, something did happen, You is missing, and I have a really bad feeling about this. It reminds me too much of before, and I don’t want a repeat to happen. And Vicky the crew is rather understaffed right now, since so many left to help the eternals rebuild. So could you watch the ship for me? I’d feel better joining the others searching for her in the town. But I don’t want to leave it unattended in case she returns or something.”

“I didn’t realize we were that low on people from that. So, of course I’ll do anything that I can do for you! Is there anything else I should do?”

“Could you double check the ship for us to look for her? We looked on the ship already, but we didn’t find any signs of her.”

“No problem! Good luck finding her out there, be safe.”

“Thanks, you should be careful too. I’ll be going now.”

* * *

After searching the ship for a while, something feels off. She was supposed to be the only one on board. So what was this strange presence she was sensing? It felt eerily familiar. 

Before she could think too deeply about it she feels like she hears something or someone from deeper in one of the storage areas of the ship and decides to go investigate. 

But instead of a person, she finds a mysterious, almost pure black puddle in the corner of the storage room. It’s presence gives her the chills. She calls out for You, but hears only silence. She feels like waiting or getting one else for help would take too long. 

She ignores her better judgement and approaches the puddle, and is swiftly drawn into it, too quickly to let out any sound.

She awakes to find herself in an area where she sees nothing but black stretching out in every almost direction besides a faint light far in the distance. She realizes she should have figured it out sooner. This feeling was a different form from Joya, but now she could tell Kleshas surrounded her. But she wondered what negativity on the ship could have possibly been strong enough to draw in so much Kleshas to form such a place so dense in it.

Even for a Divine General, being in such a place was taxing. She could feel if not for single minded concern for You, that she could risk losing herself in it temporarily or worse. Suddenly an echo rang out, it's too vague for her to make out. Vicky decides to walk in the direction of it. 

She walks for quite some ways and eventually she spots an Erune girl crying, curled into herself and ears and tails both flat. Despite that she can tell it’s her, You. The one she was looking for.

“Hi, I’m Vikala, one the divine generals. But you call me Vicky! I’m here now, so I promise you that everything will be alright. What’s wrong?”

You is unmoving and doesn’t even look at Vicky. “Things will be alright? That’s impossible.”

“Why is that? I’m sure we can work things out together!”

“I don’t deserve a place here in this crew or anywhere. So I should just disappear.”

Vicky could sense it now. This negativity is what drew in so many Kleshas to the girl.

“That’s not true. Everyone was worried about you. Even Djeeta was really distressed. I was worried about you!”

“I am sure they wouldn’t care anymore if they knew what was wrong with me. And you don’t even know me. Why would you care about me.”

Vicky starts worrying. She could feel something dangerous coming from her failure to connect to You. “I don’t need a reason to care about someone. I want to change that and be your friend. Besides I promised someone I’d help you if I could. But most of all, I can’t just ignore someone who’s hurting so much in front of me.” 

You finally looks at her, but doesn’t move. “I don’t deserve such kindness from you or anyone. You don’t know the sins I’ve committed, or how worthless I am.”

Vicky tries to reassure her once more “Don’t worry, I am s---”, but it was too late. She notices the attacker and narrowly blocks the blow. 

“Dorrie!” She quickly calls forth her partner and takes her combat stance, but she hesitates to strike back. The attacker looks just like You, except Kleshas flow around her and cover her face entirely.

The Kleshas You strikes at her again with that opening while Vicky barely dodges. “What’s with that form? Why do you look like her?” 

“. . . “ The Kleshas stays quiet. 

“That’s the past me. Or maybe it’s the real me. I don’t know anymore...” You answers dejectedly.

“I don't know what your past was like, but that’s definitely not the real you! And I’ll prove it.” 

You doesn’t respond. She simply watches the clash disinterestedly.

Vicky spins around, effortlessly dodging the next the barrage while Dorrie runs interference for her as she prepares for her counter attack. “Time for my secret move! Gilded Heaven Strike!” Vicky and Dorrie strike the Klesha You in perfect sync, banishing the figure and dispersing the Kleshas.

“See? Everything will be just fine! Let’s leave here. It’s dangerous.” As Vicky catches her breath and reaches out her hand to You.

“But I’ll just be a burden to you and everyone else if I go back.”

Vicky decides to take You’s hand this time. “Don’t worry I am sure everything will work out ok? I am strong enough that you won’t burden me at all, okay?” 

You can only nod weakly, “Then can you lead us, I am still scared…”

“Of course! Leave it to me.”

As they seek the dim light of the exit, Vicky disperses more Klesha Yous. But You starts to worry, “Are you alright Vicky? You look a bit fatigued.” She asks knowing full well she wasn’t in a state to fight herself.

“Ah I am so happy! You finally called me by name for the first time, You. Don’t worry, this is nothing for one of the Divine Generals, ok?” She said with a cheerful smile to hide it. They keep walking for a while longer.

Vicky notices the light growing larger as they get closer. “It feels like we’re nearly to the exit, You!”

“Vicky! Watch out!”

Vicky swiftly avoids the Klesha flame that was shot towards her thanks to You. “Thanks.” 

However a wicked intimidating presence now blocks the way. The remaining Kleshas took the form of a massive fox figure with nine tails, all of them flowing with an overwhelming amount of Kleshas. It towers over them and laughs sinsterly at the frightened pair. 

Before Vicky could try to counter attack, the Klesha Fox unleashed seemingly endless waves of Klesha flames at her. It took all she had to focus on defense to avoid the dangerous flames.

But even Vicky’s skilled dodges and Dorrie’s blocks weren't enough as some of the flames singed her frequently. Gradually she feels her breathing grow heavy and her movements are slowing down as she and Dorrie approach their limits, the Kleshas & fatigue begins to take a toll.

You, watching the clash feels the small amount of hope Vicky had given her slipping away as more negative thoughts cloud her mind. As she starts to feel guilty that Vicky is getting hurt to protect her as she’s haunted by the words of the nightmare. “Just run away. Please Vicky, I am not worth this…”

“Absolutely not! We’ve gotten you this far. There is no way I’m abandoning you now!” 

“But--” 

Before You can say more, the Klesha Fox’s aura is becoming more fierce and intimidating by the moment as though feeding off her negative thoughts. It Laughs as it launches a massive flame twice it’s size. All You can do is cry out, “Vicky!” as it is about to engulf Vicky before another voice cries out.

“Flowering Brilliance!”

A draph girl elegantly deflects the massive flame with her spear.

“Sorry I’m late, or maybe I made it just in time?”

Vicky’s smiles brightly. “Thanks Onee-ch-- I mean Kumbhira! I was pretty worried there for a moment. You made it just in time! ...I’m not really in a state to keep fighting right now, but I think I can form a purification barrier if you can buy just a bit of time.”

“Just leave it to your Onee-chan! Good work for holding out so long and getting You back on her feet, Vicky.”

Kumbhira goes all out to keep the Klesha Fox’s attention on her as she dodges, blocks, and strikes at it’s tails and face when she has the chance to do so, fully utilizing the extensions her spear was capable of, while deflecting any that went Vicky’s way.

“Incredible. She’s actually keeping it pinned down using her spear of hers,” You spoke with relief at the sight of their ally.

“Kumbhira as the divine boar is recklessness incarnate. That fighting style makes full use of her nature and is hard to match!”

Kumbhira kept up the momentum in her favor as she wore it down some. 

“Just a little bit more Kumbhira, and I’ll be ready to use the purification barrier.”

“Got it, in that case, time to finish this.” Kumbhira deflects a volley of flames, before retaliating “Radiant splendor, cleanse darkness everywhere! Gilded Heaven Strike!” as her spear reaches full sizes and slams the Klesha Fox on to the ground. “Now Vicky!” 

Vicky unleashes the purification barrier around the Klesha Fox, and Kumbhira joins her hands with Vicky’s to strengthen it to disperse before it can escape. It violently clashes with the barrier before fading to nothing as the puddle follows.

* * *

The three arrive back in the storage area.

“But how did you know where to find us, Kumbhira?” asks Vicky.

“I felt something was off when I sensed someone clashing with Kleshas on the ship, so I headed back alone as fast as I could.”

“Well I am really glad you made it. We might have been in trouble otherwise. Thank you,” Vicky responds.

“Thank you. Sorry for the trouble. Once I got pulled into there my mind was really clouded,” You bow apologetically. 

“I am glad to have helped. So don’t worry about it. I am sure you feel the same, right Vicky?”

“Of course! I feel the same too, Kumbhira.”

“I am gonna go tell Djeeta and the others about what happened, and tell Mahira about this to see if she can tune Joy to prevent anything like this. Do you mind taking You to her room? Here’s a map to it.”

“Alright. Be safe Kumbhira! See you later, and thanks again!”

Kumbhira departs to report back to the others who are surely worried sick at this point since a few hours had passed while Vicky was in the puddle.

“You, I hope you consider me your friend now perhaps?”

You nods.

“Then my friend, would you like to receive a handshake blessing from me to celebrate getting through all that?!” 

“Handshake blessing?” You tilts her head in confusion.

“Yup, it’s a tradition back at the rat temple. A handshake from me will bless you with good fortune and happiness. What do you say? Just repeated after me when we shake and say ‘Lucky! Cookie! Vicky!’ for even more of a blessing!”

You hesitates for a moment, but nods accepting the offer. 

Vicky shakes You’s hand as in sync they both say “‘Lucky! Cookie! Vicky!”

You smiles happily for the first time since she met Vicky during the ordeal, maybe finally believing some of Vicky’s words of positivity.

But before they can talk further, suddenly You’s legs falter and she collapses unconscious. Vicky catches her and carries her back to her room on her back. It was a rough day for both of them. She wonders what led to You’s negative emotions becoming strong enough to attract such Kleshas as it honestly worries Vicky greatly since such a thing is quite rare, but she knew she’d have to wait for another time for that answer.

After she finishes treating both their injuries in You’s room, Vicky ends up accidentally giving in to her fatigue. She passes out against the side of You’s bed still wearing her headband and divine general attire. She thinks fondly of the adorable smile You finally showed at the end of it all as she drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, this chapter marks the start of my rare-pair agenda, which I hope you like ^^. Also originally I had 0 intentions to write combat at all originally, but I ended up writing some because I liked the idea, and I did the best I could with it, hopefully it was decent. And sorry for the wait, I ended up re-ordering things a bit in the fics, so took more effort than I thought.
> 
> And to update Chapter 4 should be out fairly quickly. Currently fic is tentatively planned to be around 7 to 8 chapters long.


	4. The Warmth of Vikala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was probably too excited to write this part so went a little longer than I expected. Though it’s a bit lighter in subjects, some of the past CWs probably apply for Anxiety, Self-Esteem Issues, and maybe Implied Dysphoria. I hope you enjoy it ^^.

Vikala wakes some hours later to a pleasant aroma, and the sound of the door opening as she opens her eyes slightly. It's rather dim so likely not long until sunset, so she knew she must have been asleep for some hours. As her eyes open them fully, she looks in the direction of the sound and smell, spotting Kumbhira placing a few covered bowls of food on the table.

Vikala stands up as a blanket falls off of her. “Eh-uh Onee-chan, where am I?! What’s going on?”

“Uh this is You’s room, you don’t remember coming here or falling asleep here? We h-had decided to leave you here since you looked pretty exhausted earlier. And we didn’t know if you had a reason for it. And uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I was just bringing you two s-some food that we made for you.“ Kumbhira stutters in surprise.

Vikala’s face went pale and pink at the same time. “Wait, I fell asleep in someone else’s room?!”

Kumbhira nods apologetically. “That’s correct, sorry maybe I should have carried her back and let you go rest. I just didn’t realize you were that tired and pushing yourself so much for our sake. Sorry again, I shouldn’t have let you set-up a barrier in that state.”

Her face turns red now. Vikala fidgets with her bag checking to confirm that is there like always to calm herself, but it wasn’t. She looks around the room anxiously in a hurry, but sees no signs anywhere.

“Vikala is something wrong? You aren’t looking too good,” Kumbhira asks with a concern.

“Uh um, w-where is i-it? I have to f-find it...” She weakly mutters.

“Where is what? You’re being too vague,” She asks back, taking the girl’s hand to calm her down.

“You should k-know uh w-what the thing uh that l-lets me be m-me? How could I lose… I know I had it after we escaped… what happened?” Her voice becomes increasingly distressed as she speaks.

Kumbhira awkwardly puts a finger on her face and speaks slow, “Um… Vikala, it’s not lost, it’s sitting on top of your head.”

Vikala checks with her free hand to confirm and feels her beloved headband. “EEHHH?!”

“Calm down, do you want to wake You?” Kumbhira asks worriedly.

Vikala speaks softer and gazes down, “Ah n-no, s-sorry. I just n-never sleep with it on, so I was really surprised.”

“Ahaha… is that so? Well I should probably tell you then. That’s not all that you slept on with. Apparently when Yuel and Societte came to check on You, you were still Vicky. Though you had changed by sometime before I got here.”

Vikala, totally blued out by everything, is unable to respond. She can only murmur incoherently in disbelief, curling into herself wrapping her arms around her legs, and pulling her hand away from Kumbhira’s. She had never once since receiving the pact let herself fall asleep in such a way before. Yet she did in another girl’s room of all places. She felt like such a fool as her face burned bright red, as some of the more aggressive acts like taking You’s hand herself come to her mind now too.

Kumbhira keeps her distance as she asks with concern, “Uh, Vikala. Are you alright?”

“...”

“How about you eat something, maybe that will help you feel better? I am sure you’ll like it.” She says as she removes the cover to one of the bowls of food.

The lovely aroma of the food slightly overwhelms Vikala. It’s almost like she can taste the cheesy goodness of the food from the smell. Her stomach lets out a loud growl in response, and she can’t help but start eyeing the food. The temptation of the food calms her.

“See you’re hungry after all, so come eat.” Kumbhira says with a grin.

Vikala nods and moves towards the table. As she eyes the cheesy pasta dish with a variety of vegetables mixed in, and something she isn’t sure of, maybe tofu? It seemed like an unusual item for the dish, but she was far too hungry to question it now.

Though it seems like she wasn’t the only one reacting to the food’s smell as another stomach growls as You yawns.

“Oops, I guess I woke both of you then.” Kumbhira sighs.

You eyes the pair from her bed. “Um... Did you two stay with me after you rescued me? Thank you.”

Kumbhira answers, “Not quite, I didn't. I just arrived to bring you two food, though it seems Vikala here stayed with you the whole time.”

You’s face slightly flushes. “Oh uh… Thank you, Vikala. Maybe I was able to rest better with you here.”

Vikala feels a curious gaze burning into her. “Uh You’re welcome, but um You? Y-you’re staring pretty hard… is s-something wrong?” as she fidgets with the edges of her skirt and gazes downwards away from both of them hiding her nervous expression.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to… just... it still feels like you’re Vikala somehow, but you still seem really different even with the headband on your head. You are Vikala right?”

Vikala realizes in her earlier panic she never took it off, “O-onee-chan s-save m-me…” is all she squeaks out before her words become incoherent groans. She runs to hide in a corner of the room and takes off the headband, finally putting it in her bag.

“Uh, sorry You. Seems like you woke up at a bad time for her. I’ll explain a little for her to give her a moment to recover. She IS Vikala though.” She laughs awkwardly before continuing. “Not many people have gotten to see both her Yin & Yang sides, so she’s probably a bit overwhelmed, especially with everything that happened.”

“Yin & Yang sides?” You asks curiously with a perplexed look.

“Yeah, this is Vikala’s Yin side, she’s very sweet and kind though, so don’t worry about being around her too much. She’s just a bit gloomy, shy, and anxious. As of the yang side, she prefers to go by ‘Vicky’ and is Vikala the divine general. She’s cheerful, fun loving, and optimistic yet protective of others. Normally her headband is her key to change between them.”

You’s ears flatten as concern seeps in her voice. “That seems pretty difficult. Why would she do that?”

“Because she wants to change. The fact that she’s still in the room and hasn’t ran away entirely shows she wants to. For anymore reasons you’ll have to ask her later. Anyways, both of you should come eat the food while it’s still warm.”

“Uh, Vikala. Sorry if I was uh rude earlier. I didn’t mean to be.” You grinds her teeth in frustration. “I’ll try to be more thoughtful. Since you did so much to help me already, and I want to get along. So, uh, come eat with us.”

Vikala turns around to face them. “... Really?”

You nods.

As Vikala returns to the table. You tries to get out of bed, but her legs wobble and she nearly falls over before Kumbhira catches her.

“You ok?” Asks Kumbhira.

“Thanks. And sorry I guess not. It just feels like my strength is still pretty drained more than I expected.” You responds.

She helps You over to the table and turns on some of the lantern lights as daylight fades.

“So what are we having? It smelled really good earlier.” You asks.

“Ahaha, I don’t think it quite has a name, since we ended up changing the recipe so much. Just look for yourself.” Kumbhira answers nervously.

You’s eyes light up on seeing the meal. “Oh. It has Yuel’s favorite tofu in it!”

Vikala notices just how big You’s ears are when perked up with her delighted expression there.

“Yeah, she practically insisted we add tofu and some more vegetables to it. While Djeeta and Lyria wanted to make something more simple that was easy to eat in case either of you wasn’t feeling well. But Yuel’s stubbornness won out. She wanted it to be filling enough since both of you missed lunch at least.” Kumbhira says.

“So t-that’s why the tofu is there. I thought it seemed a little out of place.” Vikala adds.

“Don’t worry though. It’s good. I sampled some earlier. So both of you try some.” Kumbhira says.

Both of them try it and their expression instantly shows how pleased they are with the food, but neither said much while eating happily after the initial “Delicious~”. Vikala felt her initial skepticism of the tofu was misplaced. It adds a nice texture to the meal that made up for losing some of the cheesy taste. Even with the tofu in it, she lost herself slightly from enjoying the cheesiness of the dish.

As they finish up eating Kumbhira remarks, “Well, it’s good to see both of you happily eating plenty well. I am sure everyone will be glad they made it.”

The meal helps clear Vikala’s mind of her earlier struggles. “Thank you for bringing it. It was really great. And uh, give my thanks to whoever helped you make it please.”

“Yeah, thank you for the food and bringing it, I was really hungry too,” You replies with a slight smile.

“You’re welcome. I am gonna take things back to the kitchen and then sleep soon. What about you, Vikala?”

“Uh… I am not sure…“ As she ponders her answers, she notices You’s expression seeming overly eager and anxious despite her staring intently as her ears were lowering and her tail sways erratically. “Um… You, do you have a preference if I stay here longer or not?”

You’s stare broke from the question as she averts her gaze, her face flushes lightly. “Huh? N-not really... I mean, I w-wouldn’t m-mind if you did, but I don’t want to b-bother you more if you don’t want to…”

Vikala found herself staring this time. She thought it was cute how You desperately tried to avoid saying what was written on her face. It almost felt as if You was afraid to be alone right now. She felt that she understood that expression from experience.

Vikala, still staring, spoke, “Then uh, I t-think I’ll stay for a while longer then ok?”

You didn’t respond, but her expression shifts to show relief as her tail slows down and her ears perked up slightly.

“Alright. It's good you want to get along with You, but Vikala. It seemed like Anila and Mahira wanted to meet with both of us tomorrow morning to talk about earlier. So try to make sure you rest enough for that ok? Don't push yourself too much. You’ve already been through a lot today,” Kumbhira says with a hint of concern.

“Ok, I’ll try to be ready for it, and I’ll see you in the morning.” Vikala responds.

“I’ll see both of you later then, bye.” Kumbhira says as she leaves carrying the bowls she had brought in.

* * *

Things felt awkward now, since it was now just the two of them. Though she had agreed to stay, she hadn’t exactly thought of what to say or do ahead of her statement. A few minutes passed without either saying much…

“Um, Vikala, thank you for staying. I uh appreciate it.” You tries to restart the conversation.

Vikala looks away at the unexpected praise. “Eeeeh? I didn’t do anything worthy of t-thanks.”

“Maybe to you, but… “ You grinds her teeth slightly “I am still a little afraid of being alone after everything that happened. And I don’t think I would have slept well alone… ugh look what you’re making me say.”

Vikala looks back at You. “Oh… Wait, you're having trouble sleeping? W-why?”

You’s expressions sours. “It’s just I’ve been having some pretty bad nightmares lately when I sleep alone… and today’s was especially bad.”

“Ah… uh do you want to talk about them? Maybe me, uh, l-listening could help you some?” Vikala asks gently looking at You.

“I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather not today. Maybe next time... Sorry.” You’s voice turns more soft and quiet as she keeps talking. “But, uh w-would you be willing to s-stay the night with me? I think I’d um feel more at ease that way.” Her face turns mildly pink.

Vikala felt her heart skip a beat at that. She’d never been invited for something like this before by a friend.. especially being invited after they saw this side of her. She feels unusually positive as her heart races.

“Of course! I’d be h-happy to!” She spoke smiling with enough excitement to almost sound like Vicky for a moment. “And I won’t ask f-further on it then so don’t worry.”

Though now the awkwardness and embarrassment hit Vikala some as she groans slightly as her gaze shifts around the room before speaking, “T-though um… You there is only bed, so what are you thinking of doing?...”

“Thank you. And don’t think anything s-stupid!” You pouts and grinds her teeth again. “I was t-thinking either you could sleep in a chair near the bed or I get the spare futons out and we both sleep in them.”

Vikala eases up some in relief. “O-oh that makes sense, I didn’t have spare futons in my room… so I didn’t think of that. Um I guess let’s use those then?”

You nods.

“Can you show me where they’re kept then? I’ll handle it, since I don’t want you to push yourself after earlier.” Vikala asks.

“I am not that weak.” You pouts. “But they’re in that cabinet in the corner near where you were hiding before.”

“I know, but I am j-just worried for you sorry. And thanks.”

As Vikala lays out the futons, she sees You’s tail sways curiously. “Vikala, can I ask something?”

“Uh sure?”

Vikala feels a curious gaze burn at her as You talks. “Kumbhira said the two sides of you exist because you wanted to change? But why do you need to so drastically?”

“. . . “ Vikala stays silent.

You looks away nervously. “Oh... Sorry if that was too much to ask…”

Vikala tries to focus on her task as she answers. “It’s f-fine. Just give me a moment.” ”

“I don’t mind waiting.” You answers politely.

She finishes setting both futons out now. “Uh, it’s a little hard to put into words, so it might take a little and might be hard to understand. Is that ok?”

You smiles. “That’s fine. I am still not sleepy at all yet! And I don’t mind.”

Vikala fidgets with her hair’s bangs, trying to not look down or away as she starts.“Ok. I am not sure this will make sense but… I d-don’t know how to be a g-girl without her. I don’t know what h-happiness is without her. And I don’t know how to be m-myself without her… She’s been the ideal bright and cheerful girl I’ve longed for, but I don’t know how to reach… Before I could become her I thought I’d never change or find how to be happy.. Or even how to make any friends...”

You looks sympathetic. “That sounds pretty complicated and difficult… Do you resent having to become her?”

“No, not at all… While I wish I could change and be more of a girl, or be more positive without depending on her so much sometimes.. “ Vikala hesitates for a moment before smiling. “But being able to be her thanks to my divine general pact… felt like it really saved me, since I could only d-dream of being a girl before then… so I am always grateful to her.”

“Hmm, well I am glad you at least don’t dislike it. I’d feel pretty bad if you were forcing it and unhappy about it and... ” You pauses and gives her a surprise hug from behind after that statement. “I don’t understand how you think you’re not enough of a girl. You seem plenty girlish enough to me, Vikala. You’re so cute and sweet!”

Vikala’s face turns bright red from the affection and praise. But she accepts the affections just this once. “Thanks, b-but…” She whispers something to You’s ear.

“Ah… I can sorta understand, I am still struggling too with letting girly things suit me… It’s only because of Yuel & Societte’s help that I’ve managed to embrace it, just a bit. So I don’t think the past makes you any less of a girl, ok?” You says with a soft expression.

“Thank you… And wait really? But you’re so naturally very cute?” Vikala asks with a confused look.

You shakes her head. “Eh I don’t think I am that cute… I am?”

Vikala looks at You with sincere eyes. “You are though, Yuel wasn’t lying at all about your cuteness…”

You grinds her teeth and pulls away from her hug. “alrightIthinkthatsenoughforthattypeoftalk!”

“Ah, s-sorry.” Vikala looks away sheepishly.

You’s facial expression softens. “Don’t worry about it… but uh Vikala not that I mind, but how come you’re trusting me with all this about yourself? It feels really personal and sensitive?”

Vikala looks back at You, gripping one hand with her other anxiously.“T-that’s because even when you were hurting so much before, you only ever directed it at y-yourself… and never lashed out at anyone. You e-even tried to sacrifice yourself for my s-safety. And I, uh… felt like that really spoke strongly of the kindness in your heart. It m-made me feel like it was safe to open up to you…”

You’s face reddens. “The kindness in my heart…” Her ears stand up halfway and her tail moves slowly but happily. She smiles slightly saying those words to herself. “... I don’t hate it when you put it that way. Do you really mean it though?”

“Of c-course I do,” Vikala replies anxiously.

“I see, Thank you..” You averts her gaze. “Um, also, could I request to talk to Vicky, just for a little bit. I wanted to thank her properly for earlier today. If that’s not too much to ask.”

“It’ll h-have to be not too long… today took a lot out of her. Is that alright?” Vikala says with slight concern on her face.

“Yeah, that’s plenty,” You says happily with a smile.

Vikala’s cheeks turn pink.“T-then, uh, c-can you turn um around briefly and p-promise not to look?”

“Yeah, I can do that, don’t worry,” You says eagerly.

Vikala ruffles through her bag and grabs her headband. She places it gently on her head, closes her eyes, and softly murmurs a certain phrase too quiet for You to hear. The warm light envelops the room and fades.

“Hi, You! It’s me, Vicky, I heard you wanted to talk to me again?” as she gives You a brief surprise hug to return the favor from earlier.

“Wow, you really changed that quickly! How?” You ask looking at Vicky with eyes full of excitement.

“It’s all part of my wonderful Utopia magic!” She winks, and she releases You from her hug.

You’s excitement not wavering, she swiftly asks, “Utopia magic?”

Vicky responds cheerfully, “It’s part of my power as a divine general! Unfortunately I can’t manifest enough to take you to Utopia today. Sorry. But would you still like to see some of it?”

You looks down for a moment, slightly disappointed. But she still feels excited as Vicky finishes talking, her ears perk up. “Of course! But, um, first Vicky, I just wanted to thank you so much for saving me today from the bottom of my heart. I really don’t know what would have happened to me... if you didn’t arrive to reach out to me then, Thank you.”

Vicky smiles widely. “I was just doing my duty as one of the divine generals, so you’re welcome! It makes me really glad to know I was able to make such a difference for you! And thanks for your sincere gratitude. I really appreciate it! If you ever need my help in the future, don’t be afraid to ask for it!”

“I will thank you… can I see some of your Utopia magic?” You asks eagerly.

“Then would you like a surprise or present first?! You’ll get both though, so don’t worry!” Vicky smiles playfully.

“Then, uh, let’s go with surprise!” You responds.

“Watch close then! It's showtime!” She claps her hands and magically dims the lanterns first and then conjures multiple starlights that dance across the room. They form into a rain of rainbow colored lights scattering everywhere before gradually dispersing.

You looks awestruck at the sight of such wonderment. “Beautiful...”

Vicky asks with a soft yet cheerful expression, “So did it please you then?! It’s a little too risky to unleash the full use of this one in this type of space, but I hope you enjoyed the more calm version.”

Her cheerfulness feels like it's spread some to You after that. “It was wonderful! I can see why it has the name Utopia magic from you. Thank you.”

Vicky’s brow furrows a little. “I am glad to hear that! Just warning you though, after your present it will be time for me to go. Kumbhira told me not to over do it again! So think of it as something to remember me and her by, if we don’t get to see you for a little while after this, alright?”

A hint of concern crosses You’s smile. “Ok… I’ll get to spend more time with both of you eventually, right?”

“Of course!” Vicky closes her eyes briefly and smiles playfully. “Ready to accept your present then?”

“I am, but can I get one more handshake after, please...” You asks with her eyes pleading at Vicky.

Vicky’s expression briefly shifts more slightly serious. “Hmm. Usually I turn down a repeat request like that. But for you, I’ll make an exception just this once!” She smiles softly. “Since I can’t say no to a face like that, and I want to give you any help I can to overcome whatever adversity you’re facing. You remember the phrase for more happiness right?!”

You nods.

Vicky twirls around whimsically “May you receive Utopia’s blessing!” as her hands glow warmly. “Now close your eyes and shake and say the phase, You!”

You closes her eyes and as she feels Vicky’s hand touch hers. It feels warmer than before. They speak in sync once more. “‘Lucky! Cookie! Vicky!” as Vicky lets go she can feel Vicky closes her hand around something in her hand, but she isn’t sure what.

“Ok, you can open your eyes, now to get your presents with your handshake though is a very special service though!” Vicky grins, eager to see her reaction.

You is delightfully surprised when she opens her eyes and sees the gifts. In her hand, a rat eared headband similar to Vicky’s. Behind it, three flowers behind it one blue, one green, and one white. Followed by three strings tied to headband, and looks up to see three balloons matching the colors of the flowers.

You’s eyes still shine with joy as she speaks, “Wow! I thought you were only giving me a single present. It’s all so pretty and wonderful!”

“Now when did I ever say that? It’s better to surprise and delight, isn’t it?! The headband is to remember me by and let you match me if you want! The flowers are my wish for you to heal and be happy! While the balloons are a small bit of Utopia for you and a promise I’ll take you there in the future!” Vicky winks and laughs playfully, and happily thinks how these types of reactions from people make her so grateful to have her Utopia magic.

“Thank you so much for everything, Vicky! I'll treasure all of it.” You said with a wide smile on her face.

“Now that’s the kind of expression I like to see! If you ever feel too down and can’t find me, then put on the headband and say the phrase for yourself to help just a little! Unfortunately it’s time for me to go. Would you like a hug first though?”

“I’d l-like that.” You replies.

Vicky gives her a warm, but gentle hug that You returns. It takes a few minutes, before either lets go.

“Well it was great meeting you again, You! So this time do you believe Vicky that things will turn out fine?”

You cries slightly from happiness and nods. “Yeah… I do, thank you… Seeing even more kind people in the crew than I knew before gives me that hope.”

Vicky smiles and wipes You's tears away. “Good. Then I can say goodbye for now without any worries until next time. See you soon hopefully.”

“I’ll look forward to seeing you again.” You smiles as best she can.

* * *

Vicky left as swiftly as she arrived while You said her presents on bed’s nightstand. Vikala returned slightly anxiously and brought up the topic of fashion. The pair ended up talking about fashion for sometime while laying in the futons. You felt like she learned a lot from the talks on the subject, and really enjoyed them. As the conversation came to its end, both started to feel like sleeping again.

You’s tail ruffs awkwardly under the futon. “Um… Vikala, before we sleep… I, uh, had one last request.”

“What is it, You?”

You hides her face under the futon before talking. “Could we... hold hands going to s-sleep? It might h-help me feel less alone to keep the n-nightmares away…”

Vikala was in awe of how adorable yet daring You could be… she felt her heart skip a beat again. “Uh… sure if it w-will help you, I don’t mind even if it’s a little e-embarrassing…”

“Thank you…” as she peeks back out of the futon now.

Vikala reaches out, and grabs You’s hand. It's really soft, delicate, and warm to the touch. It’s a really nice sensation, if just a little bit overwhelming. After a moment You adjusts their hands so their fingers interlock.Vikala’s face turns slightly pink from the move. Vikala finds herself staring at You, noticing she fell asleep within minutes of that action. She hopes that no nightmares reach her this time, and that You will open up to her more in the future. After some minutes pass her heart and the overwhelming feelings finally calms. She drifts off to sleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, this chapter was one I had been looking forward to working on since I started planning out what I wanted to do beyond the first chapter, I hope you liked it and I tried to figure out how to express Vikala’s shyness and doubts more into her body language this time. I just have too many ideas about the dynamic You & Vikala could have that I want to express. 
> 
> Also total chapters still planned for the same amount, so this marks the halfway point ish for the fic. Though chapter 5 might be a little slower to come out since I have been working on short other fic as this chapter winded down.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it… Personally after learning about Vikala as a character from the new years event just made me jumped to see her as a trans girl and her fates (especially her cross fate with Kumbhira) just pushed me down further into the idea… So I ended up writing this rather self-indulgent fic.
> 
> I might write some more Trans Vikala content fairly soon, hopefully won’t take as long as this fic did. As I still have plans to write more especially if people liked this one.
> 
> Also I wanted to give special thanks to two people first @mirayumiii (on twitter) for beta reading for me, and for her support and encouragement, and second to demonladys (on Ao3 and twitter) for not just giving me writing advice, but also inspiring me to be willing to try to write trans content.


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